Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
