My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
