ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
