Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Randomize
