What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
