her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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