Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
