Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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