we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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