I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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