He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
