You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
