We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
