u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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