I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
