Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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