You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
