I cockslap morals
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
