I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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