i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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