That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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