I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
