Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
