Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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