Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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