He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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