the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
