the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
