My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize