I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
