thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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