it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
