I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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