fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
