You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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