my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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