Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
