You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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