I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
