I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
