We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
