Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
