i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
