Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize