Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
