It's like God shit irony all over that family
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize