awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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