I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
