im having a threesome with these popsicles
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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