I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
