So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
