White coat. Heels.
Sry I called you an 8
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
