Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
