ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
