You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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