If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
