Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
