Are we in a gay sports bar?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
