her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
