It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize